Not caring if I got filthy or not, as a child I would often sit near a huge mound of dirt carrying a spoon that I used as a hand shovel to dig up any interesting rocks that I might see. My Mom found it amusing when I put the rocks that I had collected into `special' containers and kept hold of them as though they were worth much more than diamonds. Of course, that was way back in my younger years. I displayed so much interest in the natural world that my Mom could still remember the other things that I used to do. She recalled an incident wherein I tried to make my own `perfume.' Thinking that the scent would simply `diffuse' to any liquid, I collected flowers from our garden and stored them in a small jar with water. It ended up releasing a foul odor after being kept for more than a week.

As much as I love exploring the natural world, I couldn't deny the fact that I also experienced a growing interest in mathematics. My Mom used to be a high school math teacher so I learned some topics in advance when she would take the time to teach me new things. Unfortunately, I had to do them on my own ever since I came to this country four years ago. The math that I learned here was beyond the scope that my Mom taught. As topics became harder and the help less, I liked it even more for the reason that when I solve the problem by myself, it just felt more rewarding.

I would have to say that unlike math, I didn't have any pleasant earlier experiences with physics when I was still in the process of learning its basics. Before migrating to America, I was able to take a physics class in the Philippines. During that time, I couldn't stand the class and it became really hard for me to catch up with the lessons. Because I learned only the mechanics, my guidance counselor here in America made me take the class again. It might be that the topics weren't properly introduced before because when I took a regular high school physics class in this country, I was able to pick up things even the ones that I hadn't learned before faster than I thought I would be able to.

I was more than apprehensive with the class partly due to my past experiences and how the professor seemed to act on the very first day. I could still remember going to my physics class for the first time. Thinking that I might be late on the first day of classes, I was rushing as I passed through the long congested hallway. A man standing by the door of a classroom caught my attention mostly because he was yelling, `ALL ABOARD!' while his students were coming inside. To my surprise, that same man was my physics teacher. Not wanting to be the person right in front of him, I took a seat at the back row seeing as how intimidating he seemed to be. For the next few days, it became worse because he was looking at another person from the opposite side of the room before calling your name to answer his question. It was nerve-racking! When I finally got a chance to talk to him, I found out how great he is. Through his cool demonstrations and exceptional way of teaching, he was able to get me really fascinated in the subject. If back then I despised the subject, my attitude towards the subject change completely.

My high school physics teacher was partly the reason why I wanted to attend Stony Brook because he was an alumnus. He spoke highly about the professor he had before that made me consider Stony Brook as one of my options. Not only that, he was also one of the people that influenced me to major in physics. Somehow, he made it looked fun in its own way.

After finally coming here to continue my studies, I thought my whole world came crashing down when I took PHY 141. It was like back in the time when I was still in the Philippines. The subject that I loved the most was also the subject that I was having difficulty with. Another reason for choosing the major was because I was excelling in it during high school. In college, the topics became a lot more advanced and the foundation I received wasn't enough. It was painful for me to consider the idea that I might have to change my major. I decided to talk to my physics professor about the situation asking him if I should transfer to a lower leveled physics course. Surprisingly, he said not to. He told me that I wasn't the only one experiencing the same problem and should stick with it. I suppose all I needed was somebody to be confident enough that I could accomplish something. Slowly things got better, and better, and better. I tried helping myself by asking questions through email, working with somebody, and of course reading the text. I ended up finishing up the course with a considerably [??] high mark. I would have to say that I wouldn't have done it if my professor wasn't any good [awkward]. He was beyond good. He was excellent and by far one of the best professors I had the chance to meet.

It was weird how I often found myself frustrated with the homework problems yet at the end of the day, I couldn't see myself doing anything else in the future. No matter how complicated the problems might be, all I needed was time to figure it out and I would be able to. The things might be more than difficult because I chose this path. For now, I don't see myself regretting any of the decisions that I made.

Eva Zacarias
February 2007